oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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