Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
