Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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