his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It was confusing and full of hummus
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
