so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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