Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
