I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
