I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Mom said you looked used
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
