I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Randomize
