how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
you never un-have a 4some
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize