I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
