If that was your dad, he is hot
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
