Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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