then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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