so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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