I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
