i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
