This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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