The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
