Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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