so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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