Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
ttyl tear gas
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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