PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
