What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
