You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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