You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
