And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
