all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize