big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
