I need help removing her.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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