he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
