No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
