Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
