Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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