You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
