I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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