Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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