What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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