we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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