apparently the secret to your success is patron
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize
