I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
