I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize