I'm lost and stupid without you.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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