I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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