holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
