So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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