playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
