Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
