that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
