The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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