these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
