I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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