I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
