At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
