Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
