Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
