Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
