your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
