the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
