but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
