Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
is that a dick in a sweater?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
