You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
