OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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