Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize