I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
