I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
