question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
