whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
