I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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