I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
