You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I have feelings that need drinking.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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